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Am I Having Enough Sex? What’s Normal and What’s Not?

Am I Having Enough Sex?

In theory, we should all be having a lot of sex. STI- and pregnancy-safe sex is easier than ever, there’s porn (and HBO) readily available for all to see, and now thanks to smartphone apps you hardly have to get out of bed to find a willing partner.

Yet somehow we’re just not having as much sex. According to studies, millennials are having the least amount of sex, and the average adult’s rounds in the sack dropped from 62 times per year in the late ‘90s to 54 times per year in the recent past.

It turns out there is no one reason for our lack of conscious coupling. There are endless factors. To name a few:

  • Hookup culture, yes, even for adults, has led to fewer couples.
  • Anxiety levels are incredibly high and, as a result, people are incredibly medicated.
  • The widespread availability of porn, sex toys, and endless entertainment options provides countless distractions.
  • There are new forms of digitally delivered sexual activity that don’t count in these statistics.
  • The gig economy is leaving a generation broke and with little free time.
  • Adult children are living with their parents deep into their 30s.
  • Smartphones are destroying our brains.
  • Donald Trump is the opposite of an aphrodisiac.

The list goes on and on. There’s no one reason to point to, but sex rates are declining across the globe. If you’re worried that you aren’t having enough sex these days, chances are that you are having just as little as everyone else.

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All that being said, it’s important to remember that there is no normal amount of sex for anyone to have. Everyone’s sex drive is different. Some people could have sex all day and never feel satisfied. Other people can go days, weeks or years without having sex and never feel like they are missing out.

As with all issues related to sex, the answer to the question “Am I having enough sex?” is intensely personal. Only you can answer it. Do you feel like you need more sex? Then maybe you do. Is it physically impossible for you to have more sex and yet you still feel unsatisfied? Then chances are that you’re having too much. Only you can decide and finding some statistical average to rate yourself against isn’t going to make much of a difference.

The only place where the amount of sex you’re having should be dissected is within a relationship. If you or your partner feels that the amount of sexy time going down in your lives is inadequate, then that’s a balance that should be addressed to keep you both happy.

Sex is personal. Sex is private. Even though statistics are calculated, they should never be considered guidelines. There isn’t really a normal number or an abnormal number. There are just people with biological drives. Any amount of sex is the right amount of sex as long as you’re enjoying it and feel satisfied. Don’t sweat the numbers.

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